Cleansing implies removing, right? Scrub, wash, peel - rid, discard, nullify. You get to discover what's underneath the layers of accumulation, whether things have built up over a day or perhaps a lifetime. I started a cleanse last Wednesday ( http://www.fammed.wisc.edu/sites/default/files//webfm-uploads/documents/outreach/im/handout_detoxplan.pdf ) with some simple goals:

-get back in touch with what food was truly nourishing for me
-rid myself of physical toxins
-create more mental clarity, move past patterns of negative thinking

This cleanse is moderate, reasonable - but still demanding in the most archaic of ways: I felt burdened by having to make every meal from scratch. For something meant to reset one's balance, my scale felt completely tipped over towards buying food, planning meals, cooking food, cleaning up from food. Had always thought this would be more joyful, but somehow it felt restrictive.

Which is part of the point, most likely. If you limit the scope of an external influence, you can let the internal environment work as it's naturally meant to. In this case, the positive consequences were: a much greater instinct about what's good for me and what my body actually needs (vs. what my habits dictate or what my mind craves), a realization that I don't need to eat as much meat as I previously believed, a happy glow to my skin and a healthy respect for the subtle changes (fermented foods, organic goods, alkaline-basic balance) that make a huge difference.

Meanwhile, I've also felt slightly nauseous, fatigued, dizzy and foggy-headed for the past three days. All semi-expected side effects, according to many sources. Although my training in Chinese medicine tells me I swung a little too far towards the edges and depleted myself more than I energized myself. I should add that my husband, who ate the exact same meals, didn't feel any of the those symptoms... Funny that I've spent the past five years in grad school studying time-tested wisdom about how each individual has a different constitution, different imbalances, different paths + purposes + ways of healing, and I assumed I could override this truth with sheer willpower.

I accept defeat. Happily, in this case, because the experience reinforced a tenet that can never hurt when attempting any regimen or change: modify. Make it specific to your needs. Observe as much as you can without judgment. And - the hardest pill to swallow - be patient. I'm certainly not ready to say that the discomfort I felt means the process wasn't good for me. I'm learning to have faith that not everything is apparent when we expect it to be, and that balance actually requires the disorder of imbalance to exist and thrive.

P.S. The recipes in this cleanse are yummy + worth making any time. *