Water in winter... A smack on the face is both a welcome and punishing awakening. Got in the water a few days ago, armed with wetsuit, booties, gloves, vest and hood, and attempted to ride some waves. Emphasis on attempted here - something I'm ashamed to say but felt compelled to share with all the people out there who are struggling these days. A cab driver once responded to the question How are you? in Patois-infused English: trying ma'am, trying ... That's all we can do.
In contemplating this state of trying, water, as always, is the most masterful teacher I've ever known. When I'm paddling towards head-high waves and praying that my awkward and incomplete turtle rolls will get me through to the other side, my head often fills with instant correcting: what I did wrong, what I need to do better next time, how I wish I wasn't so exhausted and that I knew how to do all this already. I can't say even I believe that this is a particularly winning strategy, but it's pretty much hard wired into the circuit board at this point. That trying isn't good enough, only accomplishment matters, and it if it's not accomplishment that everyone recognizes, it's basically worthless. I had a therapist tell me once to hold a pen in my hand, and then try and drop it. What is trying? she asked. There's only holding the pen, or dropping it. There is no in between.
On behalf of all the people who are actually human on this planet, I call bulls#*t on that. Yes, the premise works with simple actions. And you could probably even make the argument that all complex situations could be reduced to simple actions with enough mental clarity and spiritual enlightenment to turn water into wine. Meanwhile, every day, where things get complicated and wrought and confounding with great regularity, if we want to be remotely happy with ourselves in the morning, we make the concession that the best we can do IS the best.
And as you might guess, I'm all for pushing ourselves to be great. The best that we can do in any given moment changes, according to our state of mind or health or place. I'm just realizing that if you don't allow yourself some grace in the times when you're trying the hardest and you need it the most, there's no incentive to progress. What if the limitations in our mind are solidified by harsh words and scant forgiveness? What happens when we get stuck, like ice, crying silently for a thaw when the Spring is sleeping...
?
In Eastern medicine, the element of water is related to winter - a time when the energy of the earth draws inward. We store food, we hibernate, we do a little bit less and sleep a little bit more. Apart from (alongside?) hoping to ski or snowboard or surf, maybe it could also be a time for stocking up on kindness. Or turning fear into wisdom over a cup of hot cider or a blanket snuggle with a friend. For observing the falls and streams that keep on flowing, through - around - down. For we are made of the same
stuff
Side notes: Chasing waves in Pichilemu, Chile this winter - any tips or local knowledge super welcome. Mil gracias!
And if you want a little insight on a forecast of cosmic waves for this November, check out this link: http://newparadigmastrology.com/astrology-forecast-for-november-2012.php#more-640
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